Old MacDonald's
by YouAndIWillAlwaysBeBackThen
Summary: Mordecai and Delilah (OC) get offended when the subject of chicken being a big consumer item gets brought up, since they're birds. Muscle Man tells them an urban legend about the fast food joint Old MacDonald's


It was a normal day, like any other day. Mordecai, Rigby and Delilah were all having lunch together, playing video games. Delilah was eating some fries and drinking a cola, Rigby had a sub sandwich and Mordecai had some chips and dip. They were all laughing and having a good time.

"So where did you work before you worked here?" Mordecai asked Delilah and Rigby nodded,

"Yeah! I don't remember seeing you work anywhere really around town…"

"Well, I worked at a few places. I used to work at a carnival selling tickets to people for rides and I operated the rides sometimes, I had to wear a dorky mattress costume for Mattress Heaven down the road-" Delilah started to name off different instances and Rigby gasped,

"Wait! You were Matt the Mattress?!"

Delilah began to sweat and awkwardly replied,

"Yeah… unfortunately. That costume is so hot and stuffy. And people like to pick on you because they don't know who you are… I had someone throw soda all over me one time and I was sticky all day."

"That sucks!" Rigby angrily exclaimed and Mordecai nodded,

"Yeah… did they ever get in trouble?"

Delilah shook her head,

"Nope. They got away. I have to say though my worst was my first job was at Old MacDonald's as a fry cook. It ended in a really ugly way though…" Delilah started to tell them….

—

Flashback

Delilah is working her first day, as a fry cook, flipping burgers and whatnot. Suddenly, the bell rings and Delilah gets handed an order,

"A cola, large fry and a chicken burger, on the double!"

"Chicken…? Wait… real chicken?" Delilah asked the cashier and he narrowed his eyes at her,

"Yeah, is that a problem?"

…...

Delilah suddenly storms out the backdoor of the workplace and pukes in a dumpster. She wipes her mouth, looking sickly and horrified and her manager peeks out the backdoor, looking angry,

"What's your deal, newbie?! Get back in here or you're fired!"

"That's okay… because I quit! You people make me sick!" Delilah yells.

—

"Dude that's terrible!" Mordecai gasped and Rigby shrugged,

"Well I mean, yeah, Old MacDonald's always makes chicken burgers. What's the big deal?"

Mordecai and Delilah both turned to glare at him, and after a few seconds of uncomfortable silence he gasped, suddenly realizing how bad it really was,

"Oh right! Chickens a bird… you guys are birds…"

Delilah and Mordecai stopped glaring at Rigby and she shuttered,

"Man, it was so horrible, I stopped eating meat altogether. Not to sound like a stuck up vegetarian or anything but it traumatized me so bad, I never went back again. I saw people eating burgers and thought, _What if that was me? What if I was a cow instead of a bird?_ "

"That's very true. I never really thought of it like that…" Mordecai replied and she nodded,

"Yeah…"

"Did someone say Old MacDonalds?" A voice suddenly interrupted their conversation and the three turned to see Muscle Man and High Five Ghost standing there. Rigby nodded,

"Yeah… did you just get back from there or something?"

"No… I just overheard and it reminded me of a legend I heard about that place." Muscle Man looked serious and Mordecai raised an eyebrow,

"What did your mom work there or something?"

Muscle Man scoffed, "She actually did but that's not really what I was gonna talk about. Although my mom _was_ a legend when she worked there."

"Get on with the story man! I wanna hear now!" Rigby exclaimed and Muscle Man laughed a little,

"Alright, Rigbaby, I'll tell you… I heard Old MacDonald's kidnaps poor, unsuspecting birds and turns them into chicken burgers."

"Dude, that's sick! Don't be telling us that kind of stuff!" Mordecai looked a little angry and Delilah nodded her head,

"Yeah, that's not funny!"

Muscle Man held his hands up defensively,

"It wasn't supposed to be a joke guys. I'm serious! Fives even knows someone who had a friend that disappeared after working there."

Fives added on,

"It's true. My buddy James had an old girlfriend vanish after getting a job there."

"Well, we still don't wanna hear it. That's really uncool guys." Mordecai had his eyes narrowed in annoyance and Muscle Man shrugged,

"Okay, fine then! Just watch your backs. I don't wanna see you guys get hurt."

Muscle Man and High Five Ghost left and Delilah had her arms crossed over her chest, looking pissed,

"That was bs. I wish chicken burgers were never invented in the first place."

"Me too. It's bad enough they get sold in restaurants but now they're making urban legends about it? Pathetic." Mordecai looked equally as mad as Delilah did. Rigby placed a hand on Mordecai's shoulder,

"It's okay dude. It's just Muscle Man being stupid."

"It's not just that Rigby!" Mordecai jerked his shoulder away from Rigbys hand, "It's… it's more than just Muscle Man's stupid pranks okay? What would you do if they fried up raccoon and served it to people?"

"Whoa dude! Chill out! I didn't do anything wrong." Rigby tried to defend himself and Mordecai shook his head,

"Did you? Have you ever eaten chicken before?"

Rigbys eyebrows raised up and he looked shocked,

"What? Dude-"

"Have you eaten chicken before?!" Mordecai asked and Rigby started to look mad,

"You know what?! Yeah! I have eaten chicken!"

Mordecai and Delilah gasped and Rigby nodded,

"Mhm! And you know what?! It was delicious!"

"I'm a bird! Those baby ducks that imprinted on you? Those are birds! How could you?!" Mordecai looked hurt now instead of angry.

"Because I'm not a bird Mordecai. It's just food…" Rigby started to say and Mordecai looked angry again,

"No it's not! I'm not food! Those baby ducks aren't food! Delilah isn't food! You know what? I'm leaving…" Mordecai grabbed up his chips and dip and started to leave. Delilah grabbed her soda and fries and started to leave too,

"Goodbye Rigby."


End file.
